Doctoral tattoo :)

About a week after starting my life as a Doctor of Military Science, I went to see an artist I had contacted some weeks before.


This piece has provoked some and fascinated others. Obviously it first appears as a fairly provocative theme, but the wings and the text, I think, show that after all, nothing is as serious as it seems :) And, after studying war for years, I think this is what was coming.

Best day of my life

  

  

 

Wine & academia

Breakfast at a nearby café. Ordered the flowers for the venue and then attended the last doctoral defence before my own. Now focus. Focus.

I cried but got the dress!

Last weekend I hit some sort of a psychological rock bottom. I went to Katajanokka, started to cry, and then drank so much wine that I ended up taking the taxi home after I had passed out on the couch for some time.

On Monday I made a day-trip to Tallinn to get the drinks for the dissertation dinner. On Tuesday I drove to the country, got there in the afternoon and went straight to bed. I got up to eat, and then slept for a few more hours, only to go back to bed at 11 again. Tired?

But it's only going to get crazier now. I picked up my promotion dress today, and tomorrow I'll visit the doctoral defence venue to organize a few things and see another defence just to be clear on a few things. Then in the weekend we're meeting up with the girls to have a little planning session, as on Monday we're invited to meet minister Haglund! Then, on Tuesday my opponent will arrive from California, and it will be one crazy week from there. MILjazz on Wednesday, preparing on Thursday and then Friday... BOOM!

But what's most important is the fact that the dress is looking AWESOME!

Give a dick!

Today could have been great. I was planning to go see the Japanese war ship that is visiting Helsinki this week, but when I say the queue I turned around and went for drinks and sushi with a friend instead.

But, somehow I've been battling some major mood swings the past month. I know it's the infamous post-dissertation feeling of emptiness and that it's a phase that passes, but somehow it feels like my life as I know it has come to some sort of an end and everything is changing at once.

That, and three of my close friends will be gone in September. Two in Afghanistan and one in Brussels. I'm left behind with friends most of whom have no idea what I've been dealing with all this year.

Three pictures of the past days

I snapped this picture on my way to the gym. What I love about my neighborhood is its small village atmosphere. Apple trees between the houses and no cars in sight.

 I also needed some girl-time and that's what I got - or new eyebrows, rather.

And I looked after a very special friend's dog and the dog totally stole my heart. I swear she told me she loves me.

Fuck upset

So, I was horribly upset about some friendship/relationship related ongoings yesterday, and today I've just wanted to get out of the house.. I slept in, made a long walk with F and as she almost had a heat stroke, I took her to Rajasaari for some doggy time and swimming. Unfortunately V is such a bully I have to leave her home at occasions like this.

I got myself a Saima Harmaja biography and that's what kept me entertained for the those few hours on the rocks by the water.

 

My mentor

Last spring I contaced a woman who I knew was going to attend a conference I was going to. I told her she has done many things I need to learn from, such as launching a career in the military as a female academic expert. Before the conference we met at the airport and then drove to the conference city together. Very soon it became clear I had contacted a very special person. She knew the context I was working with and had such insight. That, and I felt extremely comfortable talking to her even about the most personal things. We became friends and have stayed in touch - and I know I will keep learning from her.

Women don't support each other a lot, and I'm lucky to have a mentor like her. I love her balls. CLICK

Dress fitting

Today I went to try on the dress I'm having made for the doctoral promotion, and it's starting to look like a dress. In the picture it's full of needles and the lace is not yet attached to the dress itself, but it already looks so pretty I can't wait to get to wear it and get wasted on champagne.

Driving like crazy

Just two pictures from yesterday and this morning - I spent the evening in the country and headed back home this afternoon.

Next it's going to be a long walk I suppose. I've been sleeping like shit lately, and tomorrow I have to be at the uni early in the morning to finish all the invitations to my dissertation dinner.

It's funny how I've been planning the dinner party for almost two years and now that it's the time to actually get shit done - I'm slacking!

Us two

Ends and beginnings

For the past three years I've been writing about war. Now, in less than a month, I'm defending my doctoral dissertation, which means I'm going through strages I didn't exactly expect, but I had heard of - strange emptiness, and fits of optimism followed by utter frustration. I suppose it's life filling up the space that was occupied by the "book". Now that book has become very concrete - I have 50 copies in a box I haven't bothered moving out of the hallway.

The past years I've had my eyes on the dress, the shoes, the party, the fundamental reward for sacrificing all my time and energy, only to realize that the defence is actually not the beginning, but actually also the end of a certain phase of my life. Now the ceremony appears as a farewell of some sort, as with my graduation I'm actually leaving the community I've been a member of. Not entirely, but in many significant aspects.

So, there are problems and "problems" that come to this. Contemplating life is one thing, and figuring out how to meet the demands of a super formal academic setting in terms of style is another. The "problem":
I don't like wearing black. I fought the idea of having to wear black shoes. Then, I realized, there are many ways to wear it. You can look like a nun- or give a new meaning to "crazy cat lady".

Cheers.